90. Triangle

I glanced over at Magnus and Caleb, trying my best not to let my jealousy show; Caleb--formerly my Caleb--was snuggled against Magnus, a content smile on his lips as he pretended to be interested in whatever show Magnus had decided they were going to watch. Granted, I'm happy that Caleb is happy, that he's found someone he loves, but he was mine first and I don't share well with others.

I miss those nights he'd curl up with me, but I suppose things have changed a bit. After all, he's human now and he deserves a human romance; it's not like I haven't enjoyed a romantic night with someone other than him in the time that I've been on Earth. That doesn't change the fact that I still want him and I know that there's a part of him that still wants me.

I suppose, if it were to come down to it, I wouldn't mind sharing Caleb with Magnus…that much. If being with Magnus makes him happy, I can't deny him that, though no one said that I had to enjoy the arrangement. I do want Caleb to be happy, but I want to be happy as well.

Then, of course, there's also Remiel. Even though I haven't seen him since he gave us that elixir to keep Sirius in a human form, I can't get him out of my mind. I'd have loved to stay in Heaven with him, but I had a promise to keep. I suppose that's why Remiel's been so willing to offer assistance since my momentary return to Heaven: He misses me as much as I miss him.

I want them both. I'm a greedy person, I know, but I want them because I miss them. Remiel's so sweet and sensitive, but he doesn't quite understand me the same way Caleb does; Caleb is calm, relaxed, and knows how I've felt since my fall from grace. If they ever met, those two would get along great; those two are my perfect other halves or something that effect.

Of course, at the moment, I can content myself with just making sure that I'm around to give Caleb that option of coming to me instead of Magnus; after all, I understand him better than Magnus ever could and he understands me. As long as I make myself available to Caleb, I have a very good chance of winning this little battle over my Hellhound's heart.